The Era for the Internal YES

I'm ready to say no. 

So many times in my life I am offered opportunities. Opportunities come to me with ease. But I had never learnt to say no, not in fear that I wouldn't get more opportunities because I know they are going to keep flowing to me but in fear that I would disappoint people or come across ungrateful. And maybe I also say yes to seem bigger than how I see myself, to prove I am worthy to the people that birthed me. But to be honest, I'm tired of being stressed and contracted and being taken away from the things I actually want to do most in life. I'm tired of pleasing even when it doesn't feel right. And I'm HELL tired of trying to prove my worth mostly to MYSELF. fuck it. I AM worthy. No matter whether I am sitting on my ass watching the most hilarious G rated child's animation movie of all time or whether I'm working my ass off to birth a new business. I'm worthy whether my father approves of me, I approve of me, the people on social media approve of me or not. I'm still worthy. And let me repeat this huge golden nugget - because let's face it... It's all comes down to our beliefs and opinions about ourself anyway - I AM WORTHY EVEN WHEN I DONT APPROVE OF MYSELF. 😲 Oh my god. Really let that land. Oooomph. Yup. I am worthy even when I don't approve of myself. 

Does that create some ease now? 

There are always going to be times where we are disappointed in ourselves, that's normal, natural, totally unessecary and completely human AF. We don't need to be beating ourselves up for anything but the biggest thing we don't need to beat ourselves up for is FEELING. Disappointment is a feeling, a fleeting one, like the rest of the emotional spectrum. If we allow them to be fleeting of course. Holding on has no point.

But now you get it. I would say yes to think myself bigger than what I was and to list myself with labels that say "ah yes, I'm sure that finally makes me worthy now" "business starter, yes my dad would be proud of that". But my happiness isn't in doing things from a place of trying to seek approval or worthiness. My happiness is in doing things because they are fun and exciting and bring me a thrill to my curiosity and passion. 

I let go of saying an external yes every damn time, to start saying saying the BIGGEST internal YES to me.