Hidden Black Magic

You may be asking yourself what black magic is and I can answer you right now that it is definitely not fluffy bunnies popping out of hats… Although I would love to see my bunnies pop out of a top hat one day! Black magic creates darkness and inflicts pain. Sometimes, possibly a lot of the time, the way we use our words produces that pain. We all know the common identifiable words that people use to put done another, such as name calling. Those aren’t the words I want to talk about today. No, I’m going to go a lot deeper and possibly hit home with a few of these for you. One by one I’m going to tell how simple common words can affect another and even more so, yourself negatively.

My. This is an overused egotistical word. It’s a two year old’s favourite. “My toy! My Food! My mum! My blanket! MINE!” People don’t realise that it creates more suffering than pleasure. When you are suffering with a mental or physical disease people are always quick to say MY depression, MY anxiety, MY cancer. Consider how this affects you. Do you honestly want to own that shit? ‘scuse my French, I wanted an impactful word and what better than sugar honey ice tea?

But. This word cracks me up. Someone will say all this wonderful stuff and finish the positivity with a BUT… Now this is where my sassy black woman comes out. Oh HELL no, you just null and void all that good stuff! Because that’s what a BUT does. It deletes everything said before like it doesn’t matter against what is being said after. And 99 percent of the time the after is negative. Hmm. Maybe we can find a better word to replace but…

Should / Could / Would. I should have. You could be. We would of. These three words project into the past, the future and everywhere else that isn’t the here and now. They create discord by giving you the notion that you could have done better when in reality, you always do your best with the knowledge that you have in that moment. Therefore, there was no possible way for you to have done better than what you did. When thrown into the future they give you the idea that something good might happen, even though you feel crushed hope and unlikeliness lingering in the background. You could be a firefighter, if you were fitter. You CAN be a firefighter sounds much better.

Answers. Not the word “answers”, I mean actual answers that people give to questions. The answers that drive me up the closest wall are the ones given to closed questions, a question that only requires one of two replies, yes or no. FULL STOP. However, a lot of people have difficulty with being assertive, struggle to give a one word answer and therefore draw out their response. The way they answer can sometimes give a confusing meaning or give no real answer in return. For example, I have heard a person reply to a yes or no question by answering with, “yes, I think so”. The answer to that answer was maybe. These answers send the questionnaire in circles.

The words we speak have the power to cripple a person, to cripple a nation. They also have the power to raise a person, to raise a nation. Even though there is a lot of hidden black magic amongst our voices there is also white magic, love and joy. Thank you is my favourite phrase and lifts me out of the darkest moments. The simplest words are powerful. How will you use that power? How will you use your words?